Lunch With The Psycho Child

For the last year I’ve dragged my young son all over town to lunch and brunch at some of the best cafes Melbourne has to offer. For the most part he’s been a great partner in crime. He goes where I want to go and eats what I want to eat, it’s my idea of the perfect partnership, but today was his chance to get even, today he was ‘that’ kid.

You know the kid I’m talking about, the one that cries, screams, carries on in the perfect way to drive everyone within a 500m radius insane. Yep, this week it was my kid. I looked at him in his psycho child state and desperately wanted him to stop. I did everything – toys, food and any other means of distraction, but the kid wouldn’t stop. I literally just wanted the ground to open and swallow me up.

Then I did the one thing I swore I’d never do. I pulled out my phone, found some kiddie video on YouTube and shoved it right in front of his face. In that instant he was silent, he was completely consumed by a couple of cartoon characters dancing across the screen and I was in bliss. Every time he’d make a noise, I’d put on a clip and the kid was happy (and so was I!).

In the end I got to enjoy a great lunch, while my son was glued to my phone, and well, it was great. Arrrgh, I said it! Yep here I am people, a fine candidate for mother of the year. I know what you’re thinking, massive parenting fail, and in normal circumstances I would totally agree, but in this instance desperate times called for desperate measures.

So although I don’t plan on making a habit out of entertaining my kid in this manner, the fact that I did it means it’s time for me to eat some humble pie. I’ve always been very quick to judge people that use an ipad to preoccupy their kid so they can enjoy a nice dinner. I thought they were lazy and couldn’t be bothered dealing with their kids. But in reality sometimes mummy and daddy need some time out.

So to all those people I judged, I’m sorry!!! Like really really sorry. For the first time I get it and I promise I won’t judge anymore.

Peace out xx

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