Good Baby Turned Bad

It’s official, my beautiful, precious and content baby boy has turned feral. This little man is and will always be the apple in my eye, so I hate saying that about him, but at the end of the day I call it as I see it and if the kid has taken a turn for the worst I won’t hide from it.

Maybe feral is a bit harsh (I’m clearly having an attack on the guilts)  but according to my friend Google it can be defined as

1. existing in a natural state, as animals or plants; not domesticated or cultivated; wild.
2. having reverted to the wild state, as from domestication:
And that folks just about sums it up, my perfect child has reverted to a wild state.

So what has brought on this transition? Well apparently it’s his absolute hatred of the good old nappy change. Yep, he absolutely loathes it. The second I take off his nappy, he makes it pretty clear that it will not be replaced by another. What follows is a battle of epic proportion whereby my son cries bloody murder as I try just about everything to get a nappy on him.

Lets go back two weeks. It was an ordinary day, my son had just woken up from his afternoon nap, I got him out of bed and put him on the change table just as I always do, but something was different. He was thrashing about much more than usual and he wasn’t content with anything I gave him to play with, it was annoying, but nothing too bad. As I attempted to put on his new nappy, to my absolute horror he went crazy and by crazy I mean f**king mental! He was doing everything in his power to roll over and get as far away from me as possible.  Then as I tried to hold him down just long enough so I could lather him in nappy cream and get the nappy on, he let out the worst squeal over and over and over again until I eventually let go of him.

This was the beginning of bad bad things to come. Every nappy change since this has been a challenge a best, so much so, I get complete anxiety even thinking about having to do it.  We’ve had an episode in the parents room of a shopping centre, where he screamed and thrashed about so badly, I’m sure every other parent thought I was killing the kid (Yeah other mums, I felt your judgemental eyes on me). Then there was an incident at my friends birthday, where my girlfriend and I both had to pin him down to get a nappy on him. Once again, all of the commotion drew the attention of all the other party goers – way to put a downer on mummy’s night out kid.

But none of these incidents even came close to what happened at my parents house this week. I was about to leave at the end of the night, when the little guy picked that very moment to do his business. As opposed to waiting until I got home to change him, I thought I’d do it before I left and boy am I glad I  did that.  I needed all of the assistance I could get to deal with the terror tantrum that was about to hit me. What ensued over the next 10 minutes was nothing short of comical.

This time he didn’t even give me a chance to take off his nappy before he lost the plot. I undid the two tabs and in the blink of a eye, he rolled over and took off. I lunged at him, grabing his legs yelling for someone to help me before we got crap every where. Over came my sister and both of my parents. Between them, they held him down so that I could atleast clean him, but my lord was it a challenge. He was going crazy, my sister was freaking out and I was trying to contain the mess – definitely not my idea of fun!

Then to get a nappy on him, everyone pinned him down while he thrashed about like a crazy person. I managed to get a bit of cream on his butt, but lets be honest, I was wearing most of it. Then I desperately did up the nappy and let him go. He was immediately content and acted as If nothing had happened, in the mean time I was exhausted and I think my sister was horrified enough to decide against having children in the future.

For the life of me I have no idea what has brought this on. I’ve asked a few others who have small children if they have experienced anything similar and some told me they had. But when I asked what I could do to stop it, they told me a whole lot of nadda. Apparently, I have to find comfort in the fact that he’ll eventually grow out of it, which is very little relief given I have to deal with this insanity indefinitely. But on the upside I’m going to work for the next few days, so to my mum who will be looking after him, have fun!!


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